You big bully
April 3rd, 2008 by 
Alica
Is bullying a problem in our schools? Has your little one every come home crying and complaining about another child grabbing their belongings or hitting them or worse?
Do you think bullying these days is worse than the “give me your lunch money”-type of bullying an older generation experienced?
If your child has been bullied, how did you handle it?
How should “problem” children be handled?
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April 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
I have heard of some elem. schools in Sioux Falls that have a “no tattle” policy. I thought this was kind of odd — as we teach our children to “tell an adult” when something like this is happening. I have been lucky — only 1 of my 4 kids has been bullied; then we had to be careful he didn’t turn into the bully-er…it is a very fine line
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am
At Brandon Elementary Mrs Kolb has done a fantastic job on educating the kids on bullying. In Kindergarten my children learned from her the difference between a report and a tattle. That was a fantastic tool for me as a parent. A few months ago Mrs. Kolb had an article in the Brandon Bugle about this very subject. Alica…that would be a great story for the challenger…maybe getting Mrs. Kolbs suggestions on it. This could give a lot of tips for parents in Brandon whether they are the parent of the bully or the one being bullied.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 am
Yes, there is bullying at EVERY age in Brandon. There is physical and emotional bullying. The physical is easier to “see” but the emotional bulling is not quite so easy. Both are very difficult to deal with.
How to handle bullying is sooo difficult for the kids and the parents. It usually doesn’t do any good to tell the parents - they are usually bullies themselves or deny there is a problem.
I have no real words of wisdom on how to deal with bullying. There is a book called “Odd Girl Out” that deals with high school bullying in girls. Somewhat helpful.
I personally have just tried to teach my own children how to respectfully treat others, include EVERYONE in activites, don’t talk about “parties” in front of those not invited, etc. Of course, we have learned these actions are not necessarily recipricted. We are just in the mode of “lets get through this together”.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:23 am
I’m interested in the difference between a report and a tattle. How do you explain to a child the difference between them?
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am
A report is when you need help and someone might be in danger or something “needs” to be taken care of. A tattle is when you are telling something to get someone in trouble or to get revenge. A tattle is meant to get back at someone. Reports are helpful.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Good explanation #5 — I have explained the same thing to my kids when they were “tattling” on each other to get them in trouble
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Shouldn’t it be up to the faculty member to decide if a student is tattling or reporting? Adults can tell the difference, but I don’t believe most of the elementary schoolers are emotionally mature enough to discern between the two. I think it is better to encourage kids to tell adults things, and leave it to them to decide how to handle it from there. If kids are told that it is OK to tell sometimes but not others, that could confuse them. They may end up not telling anything at all.
I think Mrs. Kolb is a wonderful person, but I very much disagree with her on this. When I was in middle school, my friends and I always felt as though she was only interested teaching conflict avoidance instead of conflict resolution.
April 4th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Good philosophy Afar but try working with kids and having them tell you every little thing. they are much more capable than you give them credit for. they are very much able to tell the difference between someone being hurt or just trying to tell you something that means nothing.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
The story on the front page of Sunday’s Life section was “Cyberbullies.” It talks about high school kids who post mean things about their classmates on the Internet. The story quotes Dr. Wallace Jackmon, a Sioux Falls family therapist, as saying that up to 24 percent of his teen patients have experienced some form of online harassment.
We’ve seen some of that kind of harassment on this blog, presumably from not teens, but from adults.
It’s the modern equivalent of disparaging remarks that used to be written on bathroom walls, the story says.
The story includes tips from I-SAFE Inc., this first of which is “Do nothing. Bullies want power and control over their victims, so it’s important not to react when you get a harassing message.”
Good advice.
Even better would be if blog posters would be polite in the first place.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
My family learned first hand several years ago about cyberbullies. My child was instant-messaging (new at the time) and someone “highjacked” my child’s identity and began sending quite sexual (highly inappropriate for a 5 grader) messages to those other kids my child was “chatting” with. THANK GOODNESS I was standing over her shoulder as this was happening! I had my child IMMEDIATELY get off-line. We also let the kids/parents know it was NOT my child sending these messages.
Turns out the next day the “highjacker” was bragging about it at school (BV Elementary student). Needless to say, the parents were in denial UNTIL AOL traced it back to their house. They lost internet access for 1 month.
It turned out to be an OK thing for my child. They want nothing to do with IM, myspace, etc.